Saturday, November 20, 2010

Mr Bond teaches you how to be cool

Everyone was begging for some more sexalicious words of wisdom, so Mr Bond is back, this time to teach you nerds how to be cool. So close all other tabs and read up...

1) Be aware of how you look, but don't try to please everyone
Sometimes you just have to think of things from another person's perspective, but don't let someone's silly off-hand remark make you go emo, because you can't make everyone like you, unless you're me of course. Make sure you don't smell, try to have a good posture, smile and think before you speak, while still keeping your self-esteem up, as there are millions of ways people can get under your skin, and learn to just say the word "whatever".
I don't let the (non-existent) mean comments get to me
2) B+ (be positive)
Use eye contact in conversations, walk with good posture and just have a sense of confidence overall.
If you don't have the confidence, you don't get the ladies
3) Find real friends
A real friend doesn't hang with you because you wear designer clothes or have the latest video game, a real friend sees you for who you are, and isn't cold and mean. I knew a man named Lance Falcop, and I thought I trusted him. Turns out he just wanted to steal my girlfriend so I framed him for political theft. The last I heard of him, he was brutally executed by the Iranian military.
Pic unrelated
4) Speak up
Don't chat too fast, don't mumble and don't spontaneously pause. Just speak clearly at a normal pace, keeping eye contact in conversations. Jeez... don't you pay any attention to my movies?
Pic also unrelated. But you have to admit it's a sexy goat.
5) Just keep your cool
Being cool means being relaxed and comfortable regardless of what gets in your way. Just take a deep breath and try to find the humour in situations. Relax...
Take a chill pill
So, do you feel cooler already? The world needs more cool people, and less pessimistic sons of /bitches. Hopefully Certainly my sexalicious words have made you more likable and cool. You can thank me later...
Hopefully you aren't like this anymore

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